Ode To Joy

March 29, 2009 a work in progress, like everything else

Joy held me in her arms
soothing the tantrum,
smelled like roses,
got things done
with purpose and skill,
set the rhythm set the beat
with quick-quick moving feet,
loved the bird
hallowed the lilac
welcomed each season
and as winter set in
faded
and changed
and finally waved good-bye forever.

In the absence of joy
gray despair.
but, spring comes
(as it does)
and the globe willows smile
lilacs bloom
a little joy
grows, smiles, burbles
holds my finger
smells like heaven
loves the new day
hallows the surprise of everything
creates music, melodies lingering in her wake
honors her name.

(untitled)

Swan,
they say.
A compliment?
I will remember the
ugly years
Carry it with me like a
birthmark
But glide with grace
and they will never
know.
I smile serenely,
Not a feather out of place.

Was I Having a Bad Day or What?

May 11, 2004

Each salty drop of sorrow
Is an ocean of unvoiced
regret and
pain and
loneliness and
even hopelessness

Hidden in a pretty cove
of a tropical island
of gleaming white smiles
and sparkling blue skies
and false sandy beaches
The hot hot sun
throws cancerous beauty
The cool cool water,
refreshing,
is an ocean and each salty drop
... sorrow.

Arches, 2004

Somehow, the still, deep
part of my soul rises to
the surface here, and
sets me free for a
time, and the breeze brings with it peace
and ... what is it? Hope,
I think ... rising, rising
Hope rising

bare feet on the
sandstone connecting
me to brother lizard

everywhere I look, I'm a part
A part.
Hope rises.

Susannah, by herself, Arches, April 6, 2004

head bent in
concentration
at this moment the center of the universe
graceful curve of the neck,
back, elbow, knee
mirror of the grandeur
around her
The beauty in the not
knowing un selfconsciousness
What does she see-feel-think?
White butterfly circles, at
first glance not purposeful
Closer inspection, the butterfly
flirts, dips, seeks attention.
the moment ends.

Hawk

(Summer 2002)

Once inside a time
running through sage-brushy sand
loping long-legged
melting, almost,
I heard a hawk.
He circled twice
then dove
and plucked my heart away.
I, not worried, ran on.
I knew he'd bring it back
someday.
Wiping sweat I stepped
into the next tomorrow
and silently strided
down a grassy hill.
Needing something and feeling nothing
I continued still
looking up now and then for the call
of the hawk.
aching for the thing
that was taken
I bounded toward yesterday
but finding the ice cap
deserted and dread
I finally stopped
and laid my head
on the cool, cold, freezing
smooth, shining
surface
of today.
Shivering
I wait.

Heartache

Close your eyes,
Have no fear,
The monster's gone,
He's on the run and your mama's here.

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy.

Before you go to sleep,
Say a little prayer.
Every day in every way,
It's getting better and better.

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy.

Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait
To see you to come of age,
But I guess we'll both
Just have to be patient.

Yes it's a long way to go,
But in the meantime,
Before you cross the street,
Take my hand.
Life is just what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans,

Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy,
Darling,
Darling,
Darling Son.


(John Lennon)

(Untitled)

I lie here alone next to you
Dreaming of things that we'll do
I'm awake in the world of the dead
Naked and cold and unfed

Don't worry, this isn't a love song
This isn't a sad song
Just keep listening, don't leave
It won't last long

I'm a fool but I'm getting better
I didn't cry when you destroyed my sweater
And I stopped and I counted the stars
When we were making our way back from Mars

As you can see, I'm fine though alone
I have 70 names stored on my phone
And two friends who'll call soon
Don't need a pill to sleep 'til noon
Or June. I'll sleep 'til June.

In the meantime I'm busy
Counting the drips from the leaky faucet
And planning my next six words.
I'm not ready to talk yet.

Things Christina and Susannah See From Their Vantage on Antelope Island, April 10, 2006

rocks
sand
water
stick with bug nest
sky
bird
sun
fence
sand shadow
island
boulders
foot
bushes
wire
puddle
clouds
sandbar
cumulous cloud
cirrus clouds
gazebo
metal
sand on foot
salt
seagulls
signs
paper towel
orange peel
branch
dividing line
thief
hair
building
earring
teeth
clothes
gross little white spider
poo (animal leftovers)
sea monkey land
Old Navy sandals
toenails

My Love is a Little Dog

My love is a little dog
That curls up in the crook of your knees
And lays his chin on your leg
Sweet
My heart is the first sip of the best wine
Scared like the first kiss
Strong like the last leaf
Blue
My arms are a cottage on the beach
Planted with wildflowers and tomatoes
The shutters creak and moan in the wind
True
Your smile
Your smile is the bright light of morning
That chases away the shadows
And heralds …
Everything.
Promise.

Auspicious First Post

This morning, there was a man on my couch.
The head and body were hidden under a blanket, but the legs were sticking out and hanging over the side. Let’s describe those legs: long, thin, tan, semi-hairy. Big feet. Not legs I immediately recognized. The momentary quizzical pause was quickly replaced with startled recognition – the man on the couch was my youngest son. My little boy! Where the hell* did he get those man legs? Yeesh.
This incident was one of many in which I “suddenly” realize that time marches on and that I am not twenty five years old any more. I then marvel at that incredible discovery. I fear that these middle-age realizations will be a theme throughout this blog, which may get old (heh heh). I’ll try to throw a swear word in here and there to keep it interesting.*

*Swear words show a weakness of vocabulary. We throw them around when we cannot adequately articulate a thought. I know this. When I am better able to articulate a thought, I will stop swearing.